Why would I live this way?

No dating before 16. No boyfriends before marrying age. Dress modestly. These are some of my standards.
Why?
From many standpoints, my choices don't make any sense, and have no purpose except to restrict my freedom and keep me from happiness.
People only remotely familiar with my lifestyle will probably think things like "Why do you follow the rules of your wacky cult? All they want is to brainwash you and take your money."
"You should be able to do what you want. Don't let anyone tell you what to do."
"All that junk about modesty is just hypocritical and damaging."
"If you love someone and they love you back, then there should be nothing keeping you from being in a relationship. It will help you mature."
And then other people who are very familiar with my lifestyle will probably think things like
"Wait, you mean you actually followed those rules? You're such a Molly Mormon. I do what I like."
"I tried to do that, but it just got too hard. I don't know how you managed to actually live like that."
"Yeah, me too! We're like best friends! Go you! WOOHOO!"

Obviously, there is a lot of controversy on this point.  Most people disagree with me, but that's okay, because it's alright to disagree with people. I don't mind if people choose to live differently; people can do whatever they want, even if I don't choose to do it myself.
End of disclaimer.

Obviously, a huge part of what I do is linked with my  religion. I believe my religion to be true. Not because I've been told all my life that it is true. I tend to question things, especially things taken for granted. Have I questioned my religion? Undoubtedly. So many times. All the time. And through those questions, and after much deep thought and prayer, I have decided, and continue to decide for myself that my religion is true.
I also believe that God himself has advised us young people not to date before 16, or be in a committed romantic relationship until we are ready to marry.
And through my relationship with God, I have discovered that He is much, much smarter than I am, and I believe that I have been blessed because I've obeyed His advice.
Now, I don't think that anyone will go to Hell for having a boyfriend or wearing a bikini. I certainly don't do what I do in fear of damnation. (I just used "bible words"! Two of them! Gasp!)
In fact, I believe that God has asked us to do this mostly because it's common sense.

Now that I've explained my purely emotional side of the issue, I'll move on the more logical aspect, starting with modesty.
Wearing immodest clothes does not make one a bad, or even immoral, person. Girls who show cleavage and dress in short skirts and ripped jeans definitely deserve as much respect as a girl who is more conserved in her appearance. In fact, they probably need it much more.
However, what someone deserves and what they will get are two totally different things.
I shall illustrate this point using a lawyer named Mr. Long.
Mr. Long is a very brilliant lawyer.Now, if Mr. Long shows up to an important case in a flowered t-shirt, shorts, loafers, a lei, and sunglasses, the judge and jury might have a hard time taking Mr. Long seriously or even considering that he takes his work seriously.

See where I'm getting at?

I don't want the General Jury of Everyone I Meet to think that I'm a "tourist". I want to show them that I am a "brilliant lawyer". I want my dress to reflect my true purpose and intentions.  Huh, it turns out that how you dress really does affect how people think about you. Weird!

Besides, the more skin a girl shows, the harder it will be for the guys she's around to keep their minds from wandering. Sure, the man is in charge of his own thoughts, but a low neckline does not encourage him to look up at her eyes and see an intelligent human being.

I don't want guys to look at me as a sexual object, so  I choose to not dress like one.

What about dating?
I have seen so many young lives cruelly ripped apart and shredded needlessly because of what I'm going to refer to as "underage dating". I don't want that for myself. After carefully watching my many friends who have boyfriends/girlfriends and hearing the way they talk, and watching the way they interact, I have decided that having a significant other is usually not worth the consequences of intense drama and heartache. So I don't do it.
I've heard people say that getting in a committed relationship at a young age helps them further prepare them for marriage, and I can see very sound reasoning in that.
However, I have yet to meet a youth who is emotionally stable and secure enough to safely "be in a relationship".
Yes, that includes me. As I think I am emotionally secure and am mature enough to have a boyfriend, it's a sure sign that I'm not.
The teen years are ones of crucial learning and growth, and I don't want to waste them swooning over some guy. I spend too much time crushing on guys as it is. If I get a boyfriend, I know that any chance of being able to think about anything else will be blasted out of a cannon and left for dead.
Besides that, being "in a relationship" is practically guaranteed to hurt the other relationships I have with my other friends, especially my guy friends. It's harder for me to be good friends with a young man when I know he has a girlfriend, so I assume it works the other way around too.
A romantic relationship like that is destined to end, anyway. Usually in about three months after it begins.
In my opinion, it's a lot better to have many great, permanent friends than three or four (or maybe a dozen) good, temporary boyfriends.
I have enough to worry about. I only have two years before I enter the frightening world of adulthood.
I intend to spend these years as wisely as I possibly can.

I've found that keeping these standards does not prevent me from having a fulfilling social life, or even from getting the attention I so desperately need. (Let's face it, girls. We do need attention, and are often willing to show a little skin or latch onto a boyfriend to get it). There are positive alternatives, and I feel lucky to have discovered them so soon.
I also don't look old-fashioned (With the exception of when old fashions are really, really cool) because I choose to keep myself covered. Here are a few pictures if you don't believe me:

My everyday clothes usually look like this.


And this


I'm pretty sure you can guess which one is me...

Below are what examples of I look like when I decide to be more formal:






Also, layering is wonderful.
In conclusion, I hope you understand why I stick to such high standards if you hadn't before.
Even if you disagree with me, feel free to share this post, discuss, and share your thoughts.
Till next time!

Dream

I have decided that one day, I want to be arrested. Not because I do something stupid, but I want something  that I do to be so brilliant and awe-inspiring that they make it illegal.

Looking back and Why Teenage Girls are All the Same

I know I've kind of neglected this blog.
Moving on.
Well, from my last post, I appeared kind of depressed. I don't remember what was going on when I posted that, but it was probably something to do with feeling like a downright lousy crown princess. That, or it had to do with giving my heart and soul in to too many things and then failing miserably at all of them.
Or possibly all three....
The last two weeks of the school year were not good to me.
So anyway, I'm fine now, and I'm going to move on to something else:
Teenage girls!
Yay!
Here is a solid truth about myself: In general, I cannot stand most teenage girls.
You're probably thinking that it must be very hard to be myself. Actually, I know I'm a fantastic person most of the time and am quite pleased with myself. But then there's the rest of the world...
See, I'm lucky enough to have tons and tons of friends who are teenage girls who are intelligent, bright, different, and not a cookie cut out of regular teenage girls.
In fact, if you are my friend, you are certainly not a cookie cut out, because as much as I love those poor lost souls I feel my brain dripping onto the floor when I spend too much time with them.
So here is what most people think of when they think of a teen girl:
They are obsessed with makeup, boys, and just relationships in general. Life is full of parties, short skirts, and spaghetti straps. If their appearance is something less than would be expected on the runway, they are unsatisfied with themselves, and are in fact unsatisfied with themselves anyway. They are shallow, apathetic, ignorant, flirty, and easy to be around.They love pop music. Quite excellent conversationalists. Disrespectful. Think they know everything. The usual.
The sad thing is that most of the time this stereotype is accurate. High schools are chock full of these types of girls, and junior highs continue to spit them out at alarming rates.
Why do girls continue to be like this? Well, a good friend of mine said this:

People want sincerely good things in their life to a level of intensity that they've only ever really read about or seen portrayed in movies. This conditions members of society to think that they must move towards that ideal. Which is manifested by this sort of insincere dramatic teenage-ish sort of drama, usually involving a whole lot of quasi-romantic tension. Because that's what they've been taught to think of as the logical thing to do.

My answer is pretty similar, but longer: 
Because everyone expects them to be. People generally do what is expected of them. Teens are expected to be lazy, partying, immature stupid bums, so that's what they act like. They almost can't help it.
Most people are stunned when they come across a group of teens that are intelligent, clean, and responsible. They're even more surprised when they find out that these kids know how to have fun, and know how to do it without going to the mall or the movie theater or kissing each other. Somehow none of these kids have boyfriends or girlfriends!
While all youth are pinned under a terrible stereotype of stupidity, I'm going to focus on girls because I am one.
People don't expect teenage girls to be intelligent or capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation or even writing something intelligent. This is a little bit of a problem for me, because when I write stuff, I want intelligent people to read it and get their feedback.
But would you read a fantasy novel or a political magazine article knowing that it was written by a 15-year-old girl?
Me neither.
So there's my, and every other young person's problem. People who don't know me have no interest in what I have to say because according to them I'm an idiot. Other people might say "Well of course we think that you're an idiot; that's because just about all young people (especially teenage girls) are idiots. It's not our fault people like you are stupid."
But wait a minute! I thought that teens acted stupid because people expect them to. Are you saying that it's the other way around? Which came first, the expectation or the action? The chicken or the egg?
Well, I'm not sure. But here's something that I find very interesting: Sometimes, I feel like a total airhead, and even more rarely, I act like one. At least the Quiana definition of an airhead. I've stayed up super late talking about boys and drama before. (You know who you are.;) I've got completely caught up in romances and I have an entire document that is titled "My self indulgence" which is a silly, pointless short story that I wrote that I think is super romantic and adorable but I would never release to the world even if my life depended on it.
So what's my point?
I think that like the "natural man" which is selfish, lazy, and such, there is also a "natural teen girl". I believe that society has taken that natural inner girl and amplified it and told everyone that this is what we should expect teens to be like. That enormous expectation, along with their "natural teen girl", breaks most girls and they are sucked into the terrible world of permanent drama, those annoying facebook posts about relationships, and shallowness.
Actually, I wrote a paper thing about this a long time ago. You can take look at it here.( I didn't write the last bit in bold, though, that was one of my other friends that felt like the piece was incomplete. While I like her addition, I prefer the paper without it because then it's up to the reader to find the balance.)
The end! :D

Looking back, I noticed that I stressed intelligence a ton. I'll need to talk about that later. ^^

Discovery

I just love it when you find out that you're terrible at everything, and no matter how hard you try you can never do.

Giving Up Your Dream

Have you ever had a dream? A super huge, mega awesome, ridiculously crazy dream?
I know you have.
Have you ever tried to make that dream come true? Have you worked incredibly hard to get others excited about that dream, to make them understand?
Did most of those people ignore you?
Were you to the point where you were ready to anything, absolutely anything to help your dream come to pass?
I think that all of our dreams have that point, where it seems absolutely impossible for it to come to pass.
Then, an angel descends. This angel knows what she's doing. She comes out the sky in a chariot of fire, wielding a great sword of light.
And she helps you. You watch with awe as she begins building your dream, helping you accomplish things that you never would have been able to do. Your dream starts to take place right before your very eyes.
And then, as if this wasn't amazing enough, another angel descends and continues to build your dream.
You're delighted, and then you realize that you really aren't building your dream anymore.
In fact, you aren't doing much.
You're not even sure if it's your dream anymore. You want to be more involved, but you have no idea how to help the angels with their complicated tasks, and you fear that you might become a child trying to "help" but hindering progress by the second.
Your dream, your huge, amazing dream, is

Slowly

Slipping

Away. 

It's probably in a good way. Your dream is finally happening! After all this time! That's a good thing, right?
But you don't want to let your dream go. You refuse to let it go. It's your dream, after all. You were the one who started to build your dream, not the angels. The problem is, everyone is praising the angels for creating your dream, not you. The angels are the ones in charge, not you.
Now, despite your dream, you are a very selfish person and you kind of want to be in charge. You want credit for being the one who started your dream.
There is one problem, among others.
If you don't let your dream go, then it will tear itself apart.
What do you choose?
It's kind of obvious, isn't it?
But I'll let you know: Giving up your dream is one of the hardest things you'll ever do.

Leadership

Before we get into any deep, serious stuff, I shall first tell you about something that happened to me a while ago. So, if you've ever met me in person, (And you probably have) you might have noticed that my eyebrows tend to grow in places they are not supposed to, like right above my nose and really close to my eyelid and such. It's not super incredibly noticeable, but it's still there.  One day, I decided I had had enough with my crazy eyebrows, so I grabbed my mother's tweezers and taught my eyebrows a lesson. When I walked downstairs, my mom said, "Did you do something to your eyebrows?"
I said, "Yes, why?"
She responded, "Well, you used to have a uni-brow, but you don't anymore."
I love my mom.

I know that leadership is something most of us hear an awful lot about. It is something that is especially important to me. However, there are some things about leadership that I have discovered recently, and I have thus decided to spew my new-found knowledge out to the world. I shall now present a few common misconceptions about leadership.

 To be a leader, you need to be in charge.
While leadership is a skill that is definitely needed to be in charge, you don't need to be in charge to be a leader. In fact, in most instances of leadership, you will not be in charge. Take authors, for instance, or musicians. The books we read and the music we listen to lead our thoughts and feelings, and thus the authors and musicians are leading us. Jane Austen did not, (At least to my knowledge) lead an army, rally together a rebellion, or found a religion. She did, however, influence the hearts, minds, and souls of millions to do, be, or think something different than before. I have discovered that that is what leadership is: Influence a person to do, think, or be something that they were not doing before.

Leaders are more valuable than everybody else.
They aren't. If the entire Revolutionary War was fought be George Washington alone, well....America would still be scraping the bottoms of England's feet. There were thousands upon thousands of key players in the Revolutionary War, and for all we know, George Washington might not have been the most important. We just think he is.
In my wonderfully personal opinion, leaders exist because everyone else is incredibly important. Then there is also the fact that I think that everyone is as valuable as everybody else, they simply are valuable for different reasons.

Not everyone can be a leader, especially not at the same time. 
This statement is true if being a leader means being in charge. We already talked about that.(Or rather, I wrote about it and you read about it.) Let's say there are four people on a team trying to accomplish something: One is in charge, two is making sure that one doesn't ask the team to do anything stupid, three is ensuring that nothing goes terribly wrong, and four is easing the tension between two and three and making sure that nobody kills each other. All of them are being leaders, but only one of them is in charge. In fact, projects and such go much, much easier when everyone involved is being an active leader.

Quiana should never be a leader, ever, if the world is to survive. 
Okay, maybe this isn't a common misconception. But it is a misconception nonetheless. More of a joke than anything else.

So there you have it. Now we will move into...The Leadership Cycle!
I don't know if everyone goes through this cycle, but I certainly do. It should also be important to note that my way of being a leader is taking charge, and that is the kind of leadership I'll be referring to.  Let me know whether or not this is similar to your experiences.

Phase one: Doubt
I start out the cycle very unsure of my leadership capabilities. I am hesitant to step up and will always follow because I am afraid that I will mess everything up.

Phase two: Confidence
In this phase, I am usually thrust in a leadership position and I enjoy it very much, and I'm eager to lead again.

Phase three: Pride 
This phase speaks for itself. I get cocky and convince myself that I am the absolute best leader ever. I also get very annoyed when anyone else tries to take charge.

Phase four: Failure
I mess up and vow never to lead again.

(Looking back at this cycle, I have decided that if you take away the subtitles and leave the names of the phases, then this cycle applies to just about everything.)
I have a story to illustrate this cycle. Earlier this month was the beginning of the new semester for our school. So it was like the first day of school, except everyone had been at school the week before. My teacher for my favorite class was gone, so we had a sub.
I'm sure that our sub was a wonderful person.
Anyway, the sub gave the class a topic to discuss. It wasn't going anywhere, and somehow I found myself at the head of the discussion. I loved it! I hadn't been a leader in a long time, and I swelled with pride as I noticed how I was keeping the class interested and entertained. After the discussion ended, I was incredibly proud of myself and thought of the amazing class president I would be.
The next day, one of the students mentioned how they were dropping out of that class because all we did was "Sit around and talk about stupid stuff." This particular student was one that I was really looking forward to being in a class with, and he also had been very involved in "my" discussion. Needless to say, I was crushed. The next class, we still had a sub and I was in an extremely poisonous mood. I don't know if it spread or if everyone was feeling rotten in the first place, but class that day was terrible. I haven't really tried to take charge of anything since, because I'm scared that I'll end up too quickly in the "Pride" phase and end up making everyone miserable. Besides, I've discovered that there are other ways to lead beside taking charge.

So what are your thoughts on leadership?